Everyone knows, I’m, like, really rich and successful and I own a lot of classy stuff, like expensive hotels and gold toilets and universities and steaks and airlines and football teams and casinos and things like that.
I also own a lot of really beautiful country clubs. In fact, I have so many of them, I actually stopped counting, if you want to know the truth. They’re all big and beautiful and have the most incredible golf courses in the world, which I get to play on whenever I like, which is really convenient because I happen to be one of the best golf players in the world.
In fact, so many people are telling me that, that they come up to me and say, “Sir, being one of the greatest golf players in the world, why don’t you write a book about why you’re so great? Please, sir, would you write a book? Please, please.”
Well, here it is.